Passionate About My Role As Wife

A few evenings ago, my husband and I were watching some talent show on TV. One comment that you often heard the contestants make as they were interviewed was how passionate they are about their music and how wonderful it is to be able to be doing something that they love and are passionate about. As I listened to these comments, I began to wonder, "What am I passionate about? I wish I could truly spend my time, energy, and even make money, doing something I am passionate about." As an empty nest mom, often it seems like we are teenagers again, trying to figure out what we really want to do with the rest of our lives. The part of our lives that we poured so much of our passion, time, and energy into is now over and it is so easy to feel lost and like we are floundering around trying to find our niche. We do a lot of things trying to fill our time and be useful, but as hard as we try we don't always feel fulfilled and passionate about our obligations. As I was considering these young peoples comments, yearning and praying for a passion of my own, I was reminded that the most important role that I have right now is that of being a wife. My passion should be directed at being the best wife that I can possibly be to my husband. Instead of searching elsewhere for fulfillment, and enjoyment, become consumed with the man in your life. Read, study, pray, about how to be the best wife you can be to him, and put these things into practice. Pray earnestly for him and for your relationship with him and how to personally make it better. Become excited and consumed with this adventure of being the best wife you can be.

Reaching Beyond Our Four Walls

As homemakers, sometimes it can be very easy to become consumed with "our" family, "our" house, "our" selves and forget to reach out to others. Once upon a time I copied this note down from somewhere and it has been a great reminder to me to not be so self centered. I thought I'd share it with you:
"Never let one day pass when you have not reached out an arm of love to someone out side your home (and in) with a note, a letter, a visit, help in some way."

A Heritage of Hospitality

Hospitality (according to Webster) is the act or practice of receiving and entertaining strangers or guests without reward, or with kind and generous liberality.

A stranger (according to Webster) is a foreigner of another country; one of another town, city, state, ... ; one unknown; one unacquainted; a guest; a visitor.

Guests - a person who spends some time at another persons home at a party, dinner, or just visiting.

In Romans 12 Paul is talking about how we are to live out the righteousness of God, the practical application of it in our lives. Verse 13 says that we are to be given to hospitality. I am very grateful to have grown up in a home where this was demonstrated. It was nothing unusual to have guests at our table and staying overnight, and not just people that we knew. Very often, my mom invited, whoever the visitors at church were, over to our house to eat after church. I remember one Sunday a family showed up (is that proper English) at the church with all of their belongings in and on their car. They had just arrived in town from California with no place to live yet. Of course they came home with us until they found a place to stay. I'm sure I could not count the number of people who have stayed with us and ate with us, people from many different countries, states, and backgrounds. Such a rich heritage.

Not only have I been impacted by the hospitality shown growing up, but also by the hospitality shown to me and my family. When we moved away from home, we learned how meaningful it is to be invited into someone elses home and family. When you are new to a church or living away from family, and someone invites you into their home, it right away makes you feel welcome and more a part of that church. I often remember the story that I read in Guidepost about a young lady who had just moved to a new town. She visited a church that Sunday and after the service a lady invited her to her home for lunch. The lady brought out a pan of cornbread and a drink. They sat and talked and ate. The young lady kept thinking that the second course would be brought out, but it never was. But actually, she so enjoyed her visit and the kindness that was shown to her, a lonely stranger, that she really didn't care that this was all they had for lunch. She was so touched by this older woman's kindness and hospitality. I often think of this story when I feel like I don't have anything special enough to offer guests. One of the families from our church in Kansas who often opened up their home to the whole church, did not have the fanciest house, and it was not always spotless (6 kids), but no one cared, we just appreciated and enjoyed their hospitality. People really don't care what your house looks like (thank goodness) or how fancy the meal is, they just want to be shown that you love and care about them. I believe this element of godliness is so important in our lives and in the church.

1 Peter 4:9 "Use hospitality one to another without grudging."

Hebrews13:2 "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

Put Yourself First

Doesn't the title of this post sound like such a worldly way of thinking? Does it go against the grain of everything you believe? Me too, but, there are times to put yourself first. What are some instances in which we should put our self first?
1. Our spiritual lives-I've been reading the book "The Gentle Ways of the Beautiful Woman" a practical guide to Spiritual Beauty by Anne Ortlund. Today the exercise at the end of the chapter was to write down all the things you do with your time, and in prayer, give each area to God to do with as He wants, and also, to write down all the bad circumstances in your life and thank Him for each one(1 Thess. 5:18), and turn each one over to Him asking Him to heal your thought life concerning your worry, resentment, control, etc. over each one. As I did this and was praying, I thought about how important this was that I was praying these prayers for myself. Before I try to help anyone else or pray for anyone else, it's important that my own heart is right. I need to make sure my own ways please the Lord before I start trying to help someone else,otherwise, I just end up stressed, resentful, and wondering if this is the way the christian life is really supposed to be.Sometimes, especially as moms, we spend so much time trying to teach our children to live right, and praying for them, that we neglect our own personal prayer, study, learning time, which should be foundational. "The more of us is invisible, hidden from the world in quiet, in study, in planning, and in prayer, the more effective our visible life will be" (Catherine Marshall, Adventures in Prayer). How can we be effective in leading even our own families to the Lord, if we haven't first, prepared ourselves, and laid our own hearts open before God.
#2 Our health-My mom told me recently, "If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will." This is true. And, how can we take care of our families if we ourselves are weak and sick. Besides, our example speaks louder than anything to our kids.
#3 Our appearance-I don't know about you, but, my natural tendency has always been to get up and start getting everything else rolling before I take too much thought to what I look like. But, ladies, time to make ourselves look at least worth looking at, needs to come pretty high on our list of priorities in the mornings. Who wants to wake up to a mom that looks like she would love to be in bed herself? And, when your husband goes off to work, he doesn't need to go from someone who is not very appealing to look at and whose breath is repulsive, to a place where the women are pleasing to look at, smell nice, and carry on pleasant, lively conversations. He is human.
Putting ourselves first is not always a selfish thing. It can actually give us the peace, joy, and strength that we need, to then give ourselves to others.

True Beauty

No botox, but she was beautiful...
Yesterday, I went to the nursing home to play the piano and sing for the first time in a really long time. I used to go more often when the kids were home. We would go pretty regular to sing and visit. Lately, every time I have been to visit, there is this one man who kept asking me when I was going to come and play the piano. I don't know why I've waited so long, but yesterday I finally went. And, as it always goes, I go to bless them and I leave feeling blessed. The man who asked me to come could not sing, but he would nod his head, tap his foot and look at me and smile every once in a while. He let everyone know he's the reason I came. As I looked around there were some really big smiles, some were singing, and some you weren't sure if they were really aware of what was going on or not. I looked at these and wondered if these old songs were at least awakening some good memory from their past. One man was suggesting a lot of old songs that brought back some really good memories from my past. This man with all the songs was sitting next to his wife, who had the sweetest smile and disposition. He told me several times, with a very proud look on his face, that this was his wife. He made it a point to get up, come to me and tell me he wanted me to meet his wife. I told him that we had already introduced ourselves and that I thought he had a very beautiful wife. He beamed. True beauty truly does come from the inside. This woman was obviously enjoying singing and talking about her Lord. I don't think this woman had a bit of makeup on, her hair was not especially well done, and no plastic surgery to remove all of her wrinkles. But, this woman was truly beautiful.
Prov. 31:30 "Favor is deceitful,and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."

Frugal Faye

A few weeks ago I told you I was going to start spotlighting and sharing some wisdom from some older Titus 2 women. I hadn't forgotten. Yesterday, while I was at Faye's house quilting, she said, "I told my husband I need to cook some big pots of beans to can while it is still cool out." She said she always cans her beans in the winter so that in the heat of summer, she just has to open a jar, season it, and heat it up, instead of cooking it for hours and heating up her house. In the winter she appreciates the heat in her house because her kitchen is not heated. This lady cans everything.Baked beans, potatoes, you name it, nothing goes to waste at her house. Last week when I was at her house, she threw together a stew for lunch, using a jar of brisket she had canned. She had some brisket left over from an anniversary dinner her kids gave her and her husband, so, she canned it. It was delicious!